3 Years

Today I have worked at Gardencraft for 3 years. Today, though, I didn't go to work again. Seems like I've been home more than at work. I've been doing a lot of research on asthma and asthma attacks, trying to understand the condition more. I've had asthma for as long as I can remember, I think I've been on some kind of medication since I was 5 or 6 years old. The reason I'm telling you how long I've had asthma is because, I am only now learning things that I should have known years ago. I'm not blaming anyone, more than myself for not trying to find out more about it. For example, I never understood exactly when you should go to the ER for an asthma attack. My understanding was that if you can't breathe, you go. By can't breathe, I mean gasping for air, I now understand that by that point it might be too late. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 times that I should have went to the ER for an attack. I say "should have" because I have never been in the ER because of asthma. I thank you Lord for saving me, and I thank you my friends for caring for me, this is mainly directed at Valerie (my now wife, my then girlfriend), Jet and Christin. They were there the third time, the first 2, I was pretty much alone. The experts say that if you're meds haven't helped in 20 minutes that you should go to the ER. The first time I can think of was about 9 years ago, the first time that I didn't wheeze when I had an asthma attack, I had no idea what was going on. That time I took one puff, I think, on my inhaler and my knees went weak, I couldn't stand up anymore. So I sat down for what seemed like 2 minutes, later I found out that it was more like 20 minutes. I am not sure if I fell asleep from lack of energy or if I blacked out, either way God was with me. That time I was at a youth retreat with my church and that time noone found out what happened until later. The second time was a week later at church, it came on strong, but this time it wasn't as bad, within 20 minutes I was okay. The third time is the worst one. This is where my friends helped me most. We, the three I mentioned earlier and myself, were at Valerie's house hanging out in the basement, bad place for me to be, I know that now. :) It seemed like a normal attack, but when I took my inhaler, it made things worse. For the next two hours or so, I struggled, not knowing the 20 minute thing. Valerie was right in thinking that I should go to the ER, but I though that I was okay and as long as I didn't get any worse, I'll be okay. I think at about the 2 hour mark I started to feel better and promptly fell asleep.

I look back at that time and see what a terrible mistake that was. Everything turned out okay, but I still should have went. I pray that if I ever have another bad attack that you, Lord, would help me know when to get help.

I'm going to start going to specialists again and see if we can get this asthma/allergy thing under control. I'm tired of being stubborn, all that does is harm your health. I want to do what I can to beat this thing. Lord, I thank you for being with me and my family through this whole thing. Thank you ,my friends, for watching out for me and praying for me, that means a lot.

Hopefully, this was informative and not annoying, since it seems like all I do is talk about me all the time. It helps to write down how I feel, I guess it helps me deal with it. Thank you for reading.