Christmas '07

Well, Christmas has come and gone. This Christmas was a great, we had all kinds of fun, and everyone got a lot of cool things. It was neat to see how excited the kids were about everything. It's been awhile since I've seen that kind of excitement and it was great. I don't often get that excited over much, but this year I woke everyone up at 6:30 to open presents. I liked being able to see the excitement and joy that they showed. I'm glad that I got presents, but seeing them so happy would have been enough for me. This time I actually have vacation instead of being sick and off of work. I feeling good and not working, awesome. I'm truly enjoying my vacation.

My Lego collection has had a few additions. Some might say GIANT additions, I'm just saying additions and we'll leave it at that. The additions that I got are a fire station and a house that can be built 3 different ways. (Yes, my wife is awesome!) Joseph, my oldest, got a police station, it makes my look little but that's okay. I'm glad that he has his own collection that he can be proud of and have with. Nehemiah, our second, even got a Mack truck and Lightning McQueen Mega Blocks set, he loves it. Hannah, our youngest, and Valerie didn't get any legos, but they did get other cool things, I'll let her tell you about that.

Hopefully, really soon I'll have some pictures of my models on my site. You can check it out here.

In progress

As you can see I have done some work on the website. Most notably, I have added a page titled Lego. This page will highlight my lego hobby and showcase my own creations(MOCs). I am currently working on two semi trucks, one with a box trailer and one with an open trailer. I will post pictures here or on the lego page when I am satisfied with them.

I have also been checking out sites like brickshelf.com and lugnet.com. Brickshelf is a photo hosting site for Lego pictures, and lugnet is a Lego users group site.

I have been fascinated with the pictures for lego train shows on brickshelf. Some are just phinominal. The realism of the building and vehicles is amazing, but so are their collections.

Anyway, I'll keep posting new pictures as I have a chance to build new models. Right now, I guess I'm in start up and planning phase of my lego town. It takes a lot of time with 3 small children running around, but that's okay, they are great. The kids that is. :)

Till next time, PLAY WELL.

My Hobby

Today, I officially started a page on my website about my hobby, Legos. I will be updating the Lego link on my nav bar as often as I can. I want to put up pictures of thing that I have built and find neat creations that others have build and make comments on them.

The reason I'm using a hobby as a subject for a webpage is because I know a lot about them and I have plenty of content. With this hopefully we can get this internet thing off of the ground. The lego subject was Valerie's idea, and I'm glad that see had that idea.

Legos also help with the anxiety, they help calm me down, get my mind off of things. I'm looking forward to pursuing two things that I am passionate about, it'll be fun.

Lego Addict?

Valerie posted the other day about how I'm addicted to legos and have a huge collection. Well, my collection isn't small, it's not as large as some that I have seen on the web. As far as being addicted, there are worse things than building with legos. I like building legos because you can use your imagination and build all kinds of things, or you can build the sets that you bought. It's been really neat to be able to spend time building with Joseph (4yrs). He loves being able to build and see what he can make. He's always so proud of what he builds, it's neat to see that excitement. The thing that makes legos stand out to me, is that they don't have characters that you play, they are just people and you have to decide who they are. And yes, they do have character sets, they aren't all that they have and they only have a few.

Okay, so I didn't say yet that I am addicted, well I think that pretty much goes without saying. I'm 28 years old and I still check out the lego isle at the store, just to see what new sets might be out. I may not buy like I used to, I still like have that chance to build with my hands and use my imagination. So, with all that said, YES I am addicted. There I said it. :)

All this talk about legos makes me think I should get another set. We'll see, if I get one I'll post a picture. After all, it makes it more fun to share what you build with others. I been building legos since I was about 5, I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

Thanksgiving

Today is my lovely wife's birthday.  Happy Birthday Honey.  

This week and weekend have been interesting to say the least.  I have been doing great, haven't missed any work, except for the vacation day Friday.  I say it's been interesting because we had fun, but a bug got most of us, so we are trying to feel better.  Black Friday was a total bust, all we got was a booster seat for Nehemiah, and that is because we needed it, not because it was on sale. 

As far as the what was going on before with not feeling well, I think we finally figured it out.  It was the anxiety all along.  I guess I didn't quite understand what on edge meant.  I believe I have had it for so long that everything seemed normal to me.  Maybe now I can post about other things than just myself.

This Thanksgiving I give thanks that the Lord showed us what was wrong with me.  Thank you Lord.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Can't wait till Christmas.

Happenings

Well here we are November 17, almost 2 weeks since my first ER trip.
Here is an update on what has happened since then.

I kept feeling pretty lousy throughout most of the week. I did make it to work on the 9th till 1pm, I had an allergist appointment. That appointment went well, I'm allergic to pretty much everything except dogs, interesting I know. None of that was really anything that we didn't already now, except the dog thing. Saturday the 10th, I had another episode of shortness of breath. Valerie called our family doctor, and they talked for about 15 minutes about all sorts of possibilities. I eventually could breath better and avoided the ER. Sunday through Tuesday was more not feeling well. Wednesday and Thursday, I made it to work for half days.

Thursday evening was a turning point. We were here at home and I just couldn't catch my breath. I was trying to stay relaxed and breath slowly, which helped but didn't fix the situation. About 6:30pm I took my inhaler and again it didn't work. We call the family doctor and he thought a trip to the ER was a good thing. So we called Deb and Brian and they watched the kids, and we headed to the ER. We waited at the hospital for a while, then went through triage, and waited even longer. Finally someone took us back to a room where we waited some more. This time Dr. Woodson came and we talked for a long time. We went over how I felt, what he thought, and then I had a nebulizer treatment. In the end, we are pretty sure that I have some sort of anxiety disorder. I think I am anxious about things for no reason at all.

The nurse gave me a few nerve pills and they are upping my dose of Fluoxitine, it's an anti-depressant. Hopefully this time we have found out what the problem is.

We are still going to have some other tests and things done, but we feel pretty sure, at this point anyway, that we found what's wrong with me.

Thank you all for all of you prayers and concern through this whole thing. I hope and pray that the worst is behind us.

As a side note, I work all day Friday, I think the nerve pills help. Praise the Lord!!!

ER Trip

Today has been a rough day. This morning I woke and was going to try to get ready and see if I could go to work. I wasn't there yesterday because of my asthma. I was a little short of breath when I woke up, this is not abnormal, it happens with asthma. This is kind of where to day get rough, my problems started just after I decided that my breathing was bad enough to take my inhaler. I took 2 puffs at about 6:25am and it didn't really help, at all. I waited for a little while to see if the medicine would kick in, it never really did. At about 6:40 I woke up Valerie and told her that it had been 15 minutes since I took my inhaler, your only supposed to wait 20 before getting help. Pretty much at that point we decided to go to the ER and see what they could do. Details from about 6:50 till about 8 are a little fuzzy, lack of air and all. At about 6:55 I took another puff on the inhaler to see if it would help, needless to say, it didn't. I think it was about 7:05 when we left the house. Valerie called her mom to pick up the boys and take them to her house, and she called work to say that I wouldn't be there, I guess going to the ER warrants a day off. Once we got to the hospital, I went in and told then what was happening. They took me back to a room and hooked me up to machines, soon after that they left Valerie come in. From this point till 7:25 I only remember questions and answers. At about 7:25 they started me on a nebulizer with 3 meds. They had this run for one hour. Like I said, around 8 I started to feel more alert and I could breathe a little easier. At 8:25 they stopped the meds and gave me a chest xray and an EKG, just see how I was doing. Sometime just before 10, the ER doc came in and looked at me for about a nanosecond and left. The nurse, soon came back, we talked a little and she gave me some instructions and they put me on Prednisone (a steroid to help the asthma), and I'm also supposed to take my inhaler every 4 hours to keep my airways open, that sounds good to me. :)

After we got the prednisone, we came home and I went to bed for about 2 hours. Not having breath apparently makes you tired. ;)

Right now it's about 2:45, I'm sitting on the couch on my laptop feeling okay. Valerie and the kids went to the mall, they had stuff to do. I'm still tired, but no enough to sleep. I'm going to rest and hopefully get better soon. Hopefully everyone else's day is a lot less eventful. I'll try to write again soon to let you know how I am doing. THANK YOU for your prayers.

Asthma Info

I've been doing a lot of research the past couple of days. I have found so many interesting things, some of them apply and some don't. It says, like everywhere, that you need to have a peak flow meter, so yesterday Valerie got me one. I have had two in the past, but I could always blow them up against, which makes your readings inaccurate. Up until yesterday I thought that I somehow had a larger lung capacity than most people. I now know that that is not really true. Last night when I was trying out the peak flow meter, Valerie pointed out that I looked different than the people on the video when I blew into it, the peak flow meter came with a video and info booklet. She said somehow I looked different breathing in than the other folks, somehow I took a deeper breath than they did. This is something that I have developed over the years of asthma attacks, I use my chest and neck muscles to force more air into my lungs. This is where we come to the part that I learned today. Today I was searching how to use a meter, just in case I was doing it wrong. All the sites I visited said to take as deep a breath as you can, I was doing that, what was I doing wrong? Then I had a thought, what is the definition of a deep breath? I then searched the definition. The definition on wikipedia.com said:

Diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing or deep breathing is the act of breathing deep into your lungs by flexing your diaphragm rather than breathing shallowly by flexing your rib cage. This deep breathing is marked by expansion of the stomach (abdomen) rather than the chest when breathing. It is generally considered a healthier and fuller way to ingest oxygen, and is often used as a therapy for hyperventilation and anxiety disorders.

This was actually news to me, I thought you were supposed to use your chest. When I use my diaphragm instead of my chest I get different results, I can't force extra air into my lungs, this gives me a totally different reading. Hopefully knowing about the diaphragm thing I'll be able to breathe better.

It will take about 2 to 3 weeks to establish a personal best, a guide to gauge how well your asthma is. I see an allergist on Friday the 9th, hopefully after that we'll be able to get things under control.

3 Years

Today I have worked at Gardencraft for 3 years. Today, though, I didn't go to work again. Seems like I've been home more than at work. I've been doing a lot of research on asthma and asthma attacks, trying to understand the condition more. I've had asthma for as long as I can remember, I think I've been on some kind of medication since I was 5 or 6 years old. The reason I'm telling you how long I've had asthma is because, I am only now learning things that I should have known years ago. I'm not blaming anyone, more than myself for not trying to find out more about it. For example, I never understood exactly when you should go to the ER for an asthma attack. My understanding was that if you can't breathe, you go. By can't breathe, I mean gasping for air, I now understand that by that point it might be too late. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 times that I should have went to the ER for an attack. I say "should have" because I have never been in the ER because of asthma. I thank you Lord for saving me, and I thank you my friends for caring for me, this is mainly directed at Valerie (my now wife, my then girlfriend), Jet and Christin. They were there the third time, the first 2, I was pretty much alone. The experts say that if you're meds haven't helped in 20 minutes that you should go to the ER. The first time I can think of was about 9 years ago, the first time that I didn't wheeze when I had an asthma attack, I had no idea what was going on. That time I took one puff, I think, on my inhaler and my knees went weak, I couldn't stand up anymore. So I sat down for what seemed like 2 minutes, later I found out that it was more like 20 minutes. I am not sure if I fell asleep from lack of energy or if I blacked out, either way God was with me. That time I was at a youth retreat with my church and that time noone found out what happened until later. The second time was a week later at church, it came on strong, but this time it wasn't as bad, within 20 minutes I was okay. The third time is the worst one. This is where my friends helped me most. We, the three I mentioned earlier and myself, were at Valerie's house hanging out in the basement, bad place for me to be, I know that now. :) It seemed like a normal attack, but when I took my inhaler, it made things worse. For the next two hours or so, I struggled, not knowing the 20 minute thing. Valerie was right in thinking that I should go to the ER, but I though that I was okay and as long as I didn't get any worse, I'll be okay. I think at about the 2 hour mark I started to feel better and promptly fell asleep.

I look back at that time and see what a terrible mistake that was. Everything turned out okay, but I still should have went. I pray that if I ever have another bad attack that you, Lord, would help me know when to get help.

I'm going to start going to specialists again and see if we can get this asthma/allergy thing under control. I'm tired of being stubborn, all that does is harm your health. I want to do what I can to beat this thing. Lord, I thank you for being with me and my family through this whole thing. Thank you ,my friends, for watching out for me and praying for me, that means a lot.

Hopefully, this was informative and not annoying, since it seems like all I do is talk about me all the time. It helps to write down how I feel, I guess it helps me deal with it. Thank you for reading.

Doctor Visit

We talked to the doctor tonight. The thing I saw online Yesterday, is not what's wrong. He did, however, give me another medication for asthma. Hopefully this new medication will do something. I'm going to have a chest x-ray and a pulmonary function test to see if they see anything new. I'm also going to make an appointment and see a allergist, see if he sees anything. My family doctor still thinks it's allergies and asthma, he just has never seen anything like my symptoms. I will still probably not go to work tomorrow, but hopefully by Monday I'll feel better. I am already feeling a little better, my nose is back to normal, I'm just waiting for everything to get back to normal. I guess for now I'll keep resting and try to feel better.

Off of work again

This is my third day off of work in a row. I'm not 100% sure why I don't feel well. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive, but it gets harder with every day that I don't feel well. Today I tried to go to work, actually made it there. When I left for work this morning, I didn't have much hope of working all day, kind of figured maybe lunchtime I would need to come home. The drive there was not an easy one. I drive about 9 miles to work, it didn't take long driving to know that today was going to be difficult. By the time I got to work, I knew that I needed to go home. I was only there long enough to talk with my boss about this allergy thing. It seems all to familiar what is happening know. I understand that when I'm not there, my job doesn't get done. I understand that they need to think about getting someone else to do my job. I've been down this road before, I know how the whole thing works. I just wish that I could be there and not have all this happen. My boss said that they will do all that they can to help, that's cool, thank you. I did find something online last night, a possible explanation for this, but until I go to the Doc tomorrow I wont know if it is right or not.

Valerie and I were talking and, if the Doc thinks it's a good idea, we'll dive back into this and start running a bunch of tests again, it's been 7 years since the first ones were ran. The doctor had mentioned running some tests, but we had declined because of cost. With missing 6 days of work in 3 weeks, cost kind of takes a back seat to more important issues, like family. Sometimes you just have to spend money to try and get better.

I think that is all I'll write for now. Hopefully I made at least a little sense, I don't think my thought process runs in a straight line when I'm not feeling so well. Again please don't feel sorry for me, I would appreciate a prayer though. Thank you.

My Sister's Wedding - The Day Before

My sister's wedding is tomorrow, Saturday. It seems kind of weird to me, she is my little sister and she is getting married. I'm glad that she found someone that makes her happy. She's getting married in a barn, definitely something I would not have came with for our wedding. It's a different location for a wedding, but I'm curious to see how it all comes together. It could be really neat, kind of a "retro laid back" style. I hope that she likes her wedding as much as Valerie and I liked ours. They are different people with a different style, and that is great. They seem very happy together, and that's what counts.

I don't really know how your supposed to feel when a sibling gets married. There are only three of us, and my brother isn't getting married until July of '09. So this is my first sibling that is getting married. I feel a lot of feelings, most of which I'm not sure I can even put into words.

Joseph is the ring bearer, he is excited. I think he going to do great. The rest of us get to sit back and watch. The wedding is at 10AM, so we are trying to get the kids to go to sleep so that they can wake up and be ready in time.

Home Again

I'm home from work again. I posted on Monday that I was feeling better. Well yesterday I started to not feel so great. I managed to get through the day at work, but I'm not sure that it's because I felt good, it may be that I was just to stubborn to go home. Last night when I got home I fell asleep holding Hannah, I think we slept about a half an hour. Usually when I fall asleep like that it helps me feel better, but when I woke up everyone else was eating dinner, and I still didn't feel to good. I decided to blew off that feeling of not feeling well and go to the library with Valerie and the kids. The library probably wasn't the best idea, not because of not feeling, but because it was pouring rain outside and we got soaked, even though we ran to the car. This is where I come to the part of not feeling good. Running to the car was a bad idea, when I got to the car, I could feel myself shaking. It's annoying to not be able to run to the car without having to pay a price for it. I was able to relax and felt pretty good while we were at the library. Of course, by the time came to leave, it was raining even harder than before, another run to the car. This one didn't feel as bad, my adrenaline was going, so I felt pretty good. By the time we got home I knew things weren't so good, I didn't feel great, but it was more of a thought than a feeling that led me to believe I may not be working today. As the evening went on, I pretty much figured that my initial thought was proving to be right. By the time bedtime rolled around, I felt pretty bad. So much so that I didn't even take my laptop upstairs to work on it, this what we usually do while we wait for Joseph to fall asleep. I only had enough energy to lay on the floor.

This morning I had to go through the all to familiar steps of deciding how I felt, and then call the boss and tell him I wasn't feeling well again. It feels like I've done this a million times, the only thing is that it never gets any easier. I guess this last little while, about two weeks, has been a little scarier that most times in the past. The feeling of not feeling quite right has been here and I guess I'm afraid it wont go away. The what ifs start playing in my head, what if I don't get better, what if I lose my job. I really don't want that to happen again, I've been there before when an employer comes up to you and asks what's going on. They feel guilty wanting to replace you, but they need the job to get done. I've only had one company do that, and I have no problem with it. The others ones don't say anything and try to let you keep working. That sometimes feels worse because you know that they want the work to get done, but they feel bad letting you go when you don't feel well and are providing for your family. I must say that I have never been fired, which tells me that all the companies that I have worked have been extremely nice and I thank them for that.

I know that the fall season is the worst season for me. Fall is also when I struggle most with the "what ifs". I know that it will get better, and as long as I take care of myself and resist being stubborn, that's a hard one for me, my wife will tell you that. She often knows before I do when I need to stay home. Thank you Honey.

I guess that is my update on how I am feeling. It rained last night and I am hoping that it will take the junk out of the air so I able to breathe outside again and start feeling better. As for today, I'm going to rest and try to relax so I can feel better and stop shaking, I can't tell you how annoying that can feel.

Better than before

I'm doing better today than my last post. Still not 100%, but I'll take it. You'll notice changes in the layout of my blog the next little while as I try to match my website colors and my blog colors. I'll keep you updated.

Allergies

Here goes, my first real post.

I imagine, by now anyway, most people that know me know that I have a weird case of allergies. I say weird because nobody, not even doctors, can figure out how to get my allergies under control. I have learned a lot over the years from books, doctors, and just trying to see what my body is saying. Sometimes I feel like my body speaks a language that is all it's own, at least I can't always understand what it is saying. Take today for example, we went to my parents for my sister's bridal shower, Valerie went for it and me and the kids hung out with my dad. Anyway, we were outside for quite a while, I felt fine and, at the time, felt that there wasn't any reason to stay inside. Now it's about 9:30PM and I don't feel to great. Why you ask, probably because we were outside and it seems like there is a lot of pollen or something in the grass, because our shoes actually turned orange. Is this why I'm not feeling great, maybe, I'm not sure this time. I have already missed two days of work this week, so it could just be an extension of that time. There is good things that come out of it though. I have started this blog. I was able to get some work done on my website, though it is not finished by a long shot. I have also paid attention to exactly how I feel and figured out that when I get what I call the "shakes or jitters", it's because I am tense and can't relax. Though this can be frustrating, I now know that I need to try to relax when I feel like that.

Well, that is my first real post. Hopefully it makes sense and doesn't sound like I'm complaining, because I'm not. Please don't feel sorry for me either, I don't. I know that God is using this for His glory, somehow, in His own time.

First Post

Hello Blog world.